erupture no.7
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mel gets down and dirty; things get funky

i turned 31 the end of june. for all of you who ainÕt been there yet, alls i gots to say is: no sweat. i feel no different. iÕm so sorry. i know that iÕm supposed to be feeling really badly about myself being an old tabby with quickly rotting eggs, but guess what? i donÕt care. thankfully my biological clock stopped and i forgot to wind it. i feel no different now than i did at 24 or 13. different than at 11, because that was pre-pub and i didnÕt think about sex, just sat in my room and played guitar and wrote and drew pictures. but apparently the core me is really me, oddly enough. iÕm still here, itÕs still me. and i still get carded

well, the one thing that changed is this: i donÕt have a boyfriend. and what i discovered now that i donÕt have a boyfriend or a roommate is that iÕm a bad housekeeper. i am now doing exactly the minimum amount of housework to keep the apartment not too dusty, not too smelly. when i had the boyfriend, damn, there was a lot of upkeep: scrubbing the bathroom floor, sweeping, dusting, cleaning the stove. buying real food! painting my toenails! i now live like a sloppy college freshman. sure i clean the litterbox, and i still have a thing about dishes in the sink, but overall? what can i say-- iÕve got so much more time to write!

the cats miss the boyfriend tho. they like having people around. we had visitors in may (hi brent and rob!) and june (hi peter!) and hopefully weÕll have more (brent, if you stop by, i promise to clean). me? i miss the nintendo 64. sometimes i miss a warm body in the bed (mungoÕs pretty warm, but heÕs not as big as a human. yet). ThereÕs a whole huge list of things i donÕt miss, like spending saturday nights watching walker, texas ranger and explaining simple concepts. next time will be different.

and iÕm still not depressed. iÕve had a couple of rough periods (putting it mildly and thank you B.U.), but nothing compared to what i used to go through. maybe itÕs maturity. maybe i just donÕt care as much as i used to. whatever it is, the change is good.

i know some of you whoÕve been hearing me bitch and moan and wurtzel about various aspect of my life are laughing at me now. thatÕs ok. iÕm laughing too.

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