BettyÕs Trash/ Android Lust; Exedor, April 4, 1998

When I get to The Pyramid on Ave A, I notice there is quite a little line outside-- the bouncer is asking for ID! And I suddenly realize IÕve neglected to bring my driverÕs license. So when I get to the front I explain IÕm very very old and not drinking anyway and the bouncer is kind enough to say that I look 19 to him, but I bet he says that to all the 30 yr old women. Upon entering I hear the melodious crooning of Morbidsey and I think I am home. ItÕs been a long time since IÕve been to a club. IÕve been out to see bands, but not out to a club where the djs play music I like. Then it suddenly struck me I was completely inappropriately dressed.

First, I was wearing the totally wrong jacket. Yes, it was black leather, but it had gold zippers. And I should have gone for the pleather shorts and not the pleather skort. Actually, I think the Hello Kitty shorts would have been more apropos. I consciously wore the old, white Richmond Valley Animal Hospital t-shirt: that was my nod to geekiness. But I suddenly felt overdone with the nerd thing. I definitely need some fetish wear. Even an RMI T-shirt might have saved me (thatÕs a joke, Trevor G.).

The BettyÕs Trash stage show just keeps getting better and better. It began with a nasty message left on King JamesÕ answering machine, and the Angel, the tap dancer taps out! And sheÕs in tails and this is beginning to look like Cabaret or a really demented Rocky Horror Picture Show , and thereÕs some high kicks and twirls and the audience is going wild, etcetera etcetera and then the band comes out and they take their places and thereÕs cheering and suddenly, thereÕs King James.

Only for toniteÕs show, heÕs Queen James, in a prom dress! And at first I thought he was, I swear, Courtney Love. I thought he was about to sing Miss World. I wish I had some video for this. James in this particular dress is something yÕall need to see. Apparently he has a wardrobe woman now, and kudos to her, sheÕs done an extraordinary job. The white bloodied prom dress was perfect, and his costumes got even better.

But everyone looked good! Trevor has this new keyboard that allows him mobility, so he does venture out at least towards the middle of the stage, so all us straight geek girls can swoon. I wonÕt tell anyone youÕre married to your PlayStation, Trevor. AnastiaÕs ensemble utilized duct tape and thigh-highs and fishnets. Valkyrie had oodles of tulle that was in imminent danger of bursting into flames form the lights. And thereÕs a new member: Apostrophe, who wore these extraordinarily high heels and played a mean sax.

For Queen of Everything, Angel the tap dancer became a stripper. There was this guy next to me, seated on the floor, just staring. I mean, this guy was boring a hole in her. Intense. I expected his tongue to loll out any second. Not that this would have been inappropriate behavior. SheÕs quite cute, voluptuous, vivacious. I wanted to shove some money in her cleavage, but I only had singles and I felt she deserved at least a five-spot.

James later told us a cautionary tale involving grapes. There was more go-go dancing. But for me the highlight of the evening was the last song, when James came out in the cutest slip and a lovely wig! A brown bob that looked quite fetching on him. I donÕt know how the damn thing stayed on his head, it must have been glued there. At the end, he got molested by a skinny boy and I was bitter! I want to molest James next time!

I donÕt wish to de-emphasize the music: itÕs fun, catchy, quirky and sinful. Plus, everyone in BettyÕs Trash is incredibly talented. But youÕll have so much fun seeing them live!

Now, the Borg sisters spun it out for us. TheyÕre the djs at Exedor. I havenÕt been out for a while, so I was looking forward to hearing what new stuff theyÕd be playing. Well, I guess they didnÕt want to waste their new CDs on us. It was like I never left: CyberTec Project (not the newer C-Tec), Project Pitchfork, Mentallo and the Fixer...I wanted to hear the new Frontline Assembly and sexwithsarah. Still, you know I danced, even with the backpack on. I have respect for the Borg, as I do for any women involved with this music. First, music in general and this genre in particular is male-oriented. Second, girls donÕt have to get into the business in order to get laid, like some guys do. So most of the women involved are involved because they really love the music. ThatÕs cool. Props to anyone who doesnÕt have ulterior motives. And, to be fair, the other, male, djs arenÕt playing new material either. So there. You have been assimilated.

Dancing at these clubs is always weird. No matter how people try to mix it up, it always ends up with two lines of dancers, split male and female. ItÕs like a mating ritual version of Red Rover. And I had my pack and my coat and IÕm old! I was wondering if I could hold my own with the kiddies. But IÕm obviously in better shape than I thought I was. I danced for the whole set, which wasnÕt long enough for me.

Then, Android Lust slithered on stage.

Ohmygod! This woman will wipe the floor with your ass! Shikhee is too fucking good. If she was working in any other genre, sheÕd be a major player, no kidding. Super talented, marvelous voice, strong yet breathy, very sexy, and the songs are just so good. Creepy dark electro. SheÕs absolutely mesmerizing. You cannot take your eyes off her. SheÕs got something. If I had a record company, IÕd make this woman a star. I had never seen the band before, and I donÕt have her cd, so IÕm ignorant. I feel foolish that IÕve missed out on this for so long. Fortunately for you, you can go to her site and hear some music and read some lyrics. DonÕt be stupid like me!

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